The Hardest Part about being a Father

Ok, so here’s the deal. I’m a late bloomer dad, that is to say my wife and I didn’t have our first son until I was 49 years old.. I know, I know you’re saying to yourself.. “Dude……”.. yeah well, we tried for 10 years until God blessed us with 5, then 15monthold was “SURPRISE!!!!!!”.. funny story behind that, but I digress.

One of the hardest things I’ve had with in being a dad is that I see myself in my son, I know what I did at that age, and I don’t want him to make the same mistakes, and it comes off as I’m being mean to him. honestly I don’t want that to happen, I want a better relationship with my son, that I have with my dad. Oh we talk about the weather and health issues, but we don’t connect with each other the way I see other Dad’s do with their sons.. I want my son to WANT to hang out with me, go to Home Depot, Autozone, Hockey/Baseball games.

But everytime I come home and I found out he’s doing things I’ve told him a bazillion times not to do, he continues to do them.  Attention getter.. yeah youbetcha, but it pisses me off and I yell.. I don’t want to yell anymore.  I have to try and be more like the Dad I wanted my Dad to be, sure my Dad loves me, I know that and I tell ya, I respect my parents now more than ever for all the shit that I did when I was a kid.

Don’t get me wrong, I was born in a different era where we dared not talk back, we said “yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am no ma’am”, we got spanked when we did wrong and honestly I thank my folks for that, it taught me respect for elders and I have to convey that respect to my sons, only without the corporal punishment. Whether or not you agree is none of my concern, but I have to find the balance that will allow me to do that and teach them that not only is respect deserved, its also earned.

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