snow today, makes it a lot easier to see the enemy, and for them to see us.. i’ve gotten to the highest point that I know of in the city, atop this massive high rise hotel, used to be a restaurant here from what I remember.. I’ve been able to obtain a high caliber rifle from one of the kids who was not a very good shot.. even with a scope, I traded my glock for it, pretty good trade in my opinion..


Bravo is cold, I’m cold, no fire no warmth, found some gloves in a car but they are too thin to be warm, best i can hope for is no frost bite.. looking for my brothers in arms very hard, we’re spread pretty thin these days, too many casualties, idiot kids can’t keep their heads down,, they think they are invincible, it’s not a video game anymore.. its very very real.. night coming,, almost christmas, miss them even more now…


A military helicopter, blackhawk i think is circling the building, search light on, afraid to show my face, might think i’m enemy and shoot.. i have no flag, no way to prove i’m American,, what do I do, this is my chance to get out.. i’m not in hurry to die today….Gatling gun fire….



11.11.21 1653hours

The night has come earlier and earlier and then I realized what day it was, the fighting here has subsided a bit, the dog is quiet, the night is still, not even bugs making any noise,, whats so surprising is the stillness of the night when you look at it, with no city lights, only the occasional fire dotting the horizon, the stars are spectacular in the sky, its freakin cold out too, I remember back in the teens they were all talking global warming crap, it made me laugh then, and today.. Electric grids are starting to pop on and off during the day as someone is trying to put them back on line, I’ve heard motorcycles in distance but have not seen any vehicle traffic, if they got them running they are using them very little. All the aircraft downtown were destroyed either on purpose or by rocket attack, there were a few bodies laying around in pieces so I can assume it was RPG’s that blew them apart.


I’m now in the company of several guerrilla fighters, most in their early 20’s, couple of young ones, and several of us old timers, we’ve managed to keep about 20 of us in number and we don’t stray far from each other. Kill zones are everywhere, we don’t dare poke our heads out in places we haven’t scouted from above. I’ve become pretty good at sharpshooting dinner, rats aren’t nearly as bed as everyone thinks if you know how to cook them.  Bravo even will eat it now. I have become friends with this kid from Dodge City, his name is Earnest, hates being called Earnie, so I just call him E, his family was killed in the E-pandemic  of 16′ he was in Alaska at the time working the gold fields when he found out, he doesn’t talk much about them. Carries a faded and wrinkled photograph he looks at every night. Prays a bit with it and for them I bet.. just as I do every night.. I think about my family every second it seems


the last 3 weeks has been a blur, never anytime to write things down, too busy covering my head and trying to stay alive. The jihadists have set up a perimeter around Kilo Charlie and the fighting has been sporadic, they move in weird ways, its like they are not looking where they should be for us, maybe its not us they are looking for.. Ive managed to keep my ammunition level high, and picking up a few rounds here and there from the dead, I put my 06′ in a place where I can find it later and opted for the Kalishnikov  because the rounds are easier to find… more in a bit, there are shadows coming up the 14th avenue corridor that shouldnt be there.. Bravo is nervously growling…


I haven’t much time, I’ve heard radio chatter on one of the old AM freqs that these asshats having gained control of are spewing hate, they are massing in number and will descend on the remaining parts of Kilo Charlie in hours is my guess, I’ve got just enough daylight left to get to the landing strip, see if I can find some sort of transportation and get the fuck outta here.. Ive never flown an airplane, but if theres one in a hanger that will start I am going to try, got to be a way out.. new blood arriving from south city, couple young kids maybe 20 or 21, a dude about my age and some teenagers who are ready to fight.. not much sun left, cooler nights now too, fall is here and it sucks,, can’t light fires to keep warm, have to rely on old blankets and my dog to stay warm… need to move south before the snows,, need to know if there’s help coming.. need to know we’re not doing this for not…need to know what happened to my family…need to sleep


We’ve been underground for a week, no light, very little water, and very little time left.  The wounds are deep, blood soaked shirts and pants, bleeding stopped, Lilly went quickly, the rounds hit her directly in the chest, she lasted maybe 15 seconds, Bravo is a wimpering mess, he has lost his bravery I guess.. I took the form out at about 300 yards, don’t know if it was man or woman, didn’t care, the automatic weapons are going off everywhere, not sure of how many there are.. We’re in a sewer beneath 14th street, I can hear them yelling in foreign languages, not sure what language it is, I don’t recognize much more than a few words of spanish and a little german, this is definitely not one of those.. I must get to the weapons dropped by the dead, need the ammo and their guns and anything else worth taking… it’s dark, it’s freakin cold and I haven’t slept in days..  I can’t get my kids out of my mind, they’re always there,, always smiling , laughing, it’s an echo that fills my head and I can’t make it stop.. I pray that they are alive and safe….


it’s a little after midnight I think, I haven’t a time piece so I’m guessing.. it’s very quiet,, strangely quiet and I hear only the wind, no birds, no bugs, just the wind whistling its horrible melody through decaying buildings. Bravo is next to me as we sit in what was once a fast food joint of some sort, rotting cans of tomato paste punctured by flying metal debris I imagine is what caused the metal cans to look like shredded paper.  I have found more paper to write on and a pen that still works. The radio has chatter now, every now and then I hear someone pleading for help, they don’t give location, they don’t give direction, they just scream help us help us help us., they obviously know how to run a transmitter so they can’t be to helpless.. if they could figure that out, they can figure out how to fend for themselves,,, maybe it’s a trap,, maybe its the enemy looking to slaughter those that want to help…. what’s to eat here.. some stale bread, vienna sausages still ok I guess, they’re in a sealed tin so I guess we’ll be ok,, Bravo likes them for sure.. I’ve never eaten sardines but there is always a first time.. there is a light off in distance, small fire looks to be about 2 miles or less,, we’re headed that direction. I must find someone to talk to,, find out what happened, find out whats going on in th world.. find out why….



we are here.. their are english speaking people just around the corner, on top of hill, they have fire in a trash can I can make out 4 maybe 5 men, two small children, dogs.. they have weapons, but are unafraid.. I’m afraid to call out, I don’t want to be shot at again.. I need some meds,, leg wounds are starting to ooze, must find help or will die out here alone.. I miss my wife, I miss my sons, I miss america….



30 Sept 2021

Brenda asked me today “Why do you call me Brenda? My name is Lilly”.. well that certainly is a good sign, I asked her if she remembers anything else, and she is babbling at about a million miles per hour now as I write.. I nod my head in agreement and amazement as she tells me of how she came to be on the interstate at the moment of the end of life as we knew it.  It seems she’s a dental hygienist (explains the scrubs) on her way home from work when it all became a scene from a bad movie, she says she screamed as the EMP brought everything with a battery to a sudden halt and moments later the enormous flash of light and the cloud and then she lost consciousness.. she remembers nothing after that until just about an hour ago, she doesn’t know me, but is thanking me profusely for saving her.. I’ve not saved her.. I’ve helped her survive the last 7 days that’s all..


Bravo has stopped and started to growl.. I’ve fashioned a sight of sorts from a broken pair of binoculars I’ve found in the rubble, a bit of duct tape and it’s now attached to my rifle. The irony I guess is that this weapon is over a century old, yet is in impeccable condition. it was given to me by my father who got it from the government over 60 years ago.. he used it for target practice, it’s a beautiful piece of equipment, heavy but deadly accurate, the Springfield 30-.06 is good for 1000 yards if aimed correctly, I can’t believe soldiers used this old sighting mechanism to kill at such a distance…. the image I’m looking at is blurred, but it is a human, walking very carefully through the wreckage peering into each piece of wreckage he, or she for that matter, comes upon.. I’ll wait till they get closer.. I shush Lilly and point their direction, we’ve sheltered in place behind a large group of metal dumpsters behind a blown apart Quik Trip,, Bravo is anxious, want’s to attack I think,, I hold him close to me and tell him to lie down and be quiet.. strangely enough he listens… the enemy? or another survivor?



Bullets are flying over our heads as someone has opened fire with an automatic weapon. Kalashnikov I’m sure,  it is the enemy and I’m very very afraid to die, I’ve never shot at anything but doe’s, bucks, rabbits and squirrels.. they’re getting closer and I must make my shots count….


29 Sept, 2021

I only have a few moments to write, we’re being followed and we’ve been under constant watch, the last few days as we have been walking towards Kilo Charlie have been hectic, the night skies were dark and then two days ago we spotted a fire in the distance we had not seen before, there are others, but I’m not sure if they are survivors or jihadists out to take our heads.  Bravo has been on alert constantly, hasn’t barked, but damn sure has been growling, knows there’s something wrong.. Brenda is alert, still doesn’t know who she is, but understands we’re out here to survive whatever the devil throws at us.. screams now, someone is out there…


I’m writing this by moonlight and it’s very hard to see, the distant lights are several now, I can count at least 5 separate fires on the horizon, I can only guess the distance at about 4 or maybe 5 miles, its so very different without the lights of the city glowing and the night sky is amazing when you stop and notice it.. the stars are incredible.. screams are becoming more in number.. I’ve not had time to even think, I can’t remember when I’ve slept, it’s becoming harder to concentrate, I’ve developed a rash on my forearms that gets worse by the hour, the bomb dropped may have been a chemical nuke? Fuck this hurts, it’s like a bad sunburn, but it keeps spreading up my arms,  I don’t want to die this way.. it certainly wouldn’t be honorable and it damn sure will be painful if I don’t find some atropine somewhere soon. I have one piece of paper left to write on and then I’ll have to scrounge through the wreckage on the highway in hopes that I will be able to continue to tell this story. Someone will have to know what we did to try and stop them…. Bravo has alerted.. must stop..



I am not a morning person, never was, back when I was kid of sorts, I worked in radio and did mornings when the regulars were sick or on vacation, I sucked at it, and I hated it at times , but I at least got to be home by noon.. the sun is just starting to peak over the trees, soon it will be up and we’ll be able to see through the chemifog, it’s an everyday thing now.. no matter what, there is always fog, it burns my eyes and throat.. must keep moving towards Kilo Charlie.. we’re being watched, but I cannot find them.. Bravo now lags behind us,, always watchful, always on alert.. must find water soon, radio static is more erratic now, I hear breaks in the white noise, someone is trying to communicate, I have thought it was Morse code at first, but its not patterned correctly… it’s like someone popping the mic on for a few secs then off again.. we’re getting closer ..


12 Sept 2021 14:37

The gray sky is once again dropping gray snow on us as we trudge down the highway, we didn’t sleep well.. my new friends especially the furry one who snores kept me awake most of the night.. I still don’t know my traveling companions name, neither does she.. we didn’t find anything around the wreckage with a name. She looks like a Brenda to me.  Why? I have no clue.. she just looks like a Brenda would look, so that’s what I’ll call her..

We’ve made our way about 5 miles through what looks like a junk yard, it’s been almost 48 hours since the EMP and then the nukes that rained down on us, I counted at least 3 mushrooms in the distance, probably about 50 miles apart, but close enough that it pretty much obliterated everyone in that sphere of destruction.

Bravo smells something other than death as his nose and ears perk every so often, I don’t know what he smells or sees, I cant make things out so well in the dark, and it’s dark, like a really bad thunderstorm, only you can see the sun peak through every now and then.. I’ve bandaged Brenda up as best I can until we get closer to a town or village or even a farm house that I can get some better medical supplies from,, shoulda been a prepper.. I need to stop and rest, can’t find any water worth drinking, all the vehicles we’ve come upon are twisted bits of melted metal, anything that was inside is a smoldering goo.. getting closer to Kilo Charlie, there are more and more unfortunate souls littering the ditches. I can’t imagine what went through their minds, this isn’t a tornado, you were not going to survive laying in a ditch.. very strange… reminds me of when I was watching what unfolded 20 years ago on tv when the news showed people jumping from the wtc .. a tragic end… rest and then we try to find food